Knocked up, now what

© Pixabay

It’s not like in the movies It’s 11pm at night, I’m wearing my bad pants and I’ve just pissed into a shot glass I used to neck vodka from. I drop the pregnancy stick in it, and quicker than you can say ‘down it’ it shows that I am in fact pregnant. Suddenly my acute sense of smell makes sense!

OMG I A M P R E G N A N T, sex really does work. Now, we had planned this happy event, so we were thrilled, but I’d be lying if I said that we weren’t dumbstruck for about a week while it sunk in.

Meanwhile I preoccupied myself with where I would give birth. A close friend of mine nearly died in childbirth and several others have scars for life (mentally and physically), so I took their advice and decided to go private. From day one I was treated like Angelina Jolie, and the entire experience was incredible, faultless as I realise how lucky I am to have such great care. All I have to do now is grow this thing!