Hello little Jelly Bean
A happy memory is the first time I saw Boo. Going private I got to have an early scan, it showed what can only be described as a jelly bean inside me. It still remains my favourite scan to this day.
It confirmed that all is going well. It is such a huge relief and now I could tell the world. However, it wasn’t until the 20 week scan that I could finally relax.
To see he is OK, and all his vital organs are perfect is such a grateful moment. It reminded me of the film Juno for some reason.
Perhaps it’s because I never really wanted or expected to have kids. In fact even though my jelly bean was planned, it wasn’t until now that I realised how precious he was. If anything it reminded me of how I shouldn’t be taking any of this for granted. I have been blessed, and it was time to start being thankful.
Taking a moment
It was around this time, that people started to confide in me. There must be something about a pregnant woman. Perhaps others thought ‘she knows what I’m going through’. Or perhaps they felt they could be more open.
Whatever, I started hearing all kinds of stories. How IVF had failed friends I didn’t even know where trying. How some were considering freezing their eggs, and how others had super-sperm that did they trick first time. Actually a lot of men told me these stories!
Somehow, becoming a confidant to so many people made makes you realise that behind closed doors, so much is going on. God only knows how that manifests in hormones. It made me feel a little guilty that I had taken getting pregnant for granted.
I am one of the lucky ones. I hope is that this pregnancy will change me for the better. Or as our American friends say ‘being the best versions of myself’.