Disco divas and Hip Hip kings rejoice – all that time clubbing has paid off…
I’m a product of the Ministry of Sound, of the early-unspoilt days of Ibiza and the glory days of accciiiiidddddd house. Musically, it was great growing up to the soundtrack of Fatboy Slim, The Chemical Brothers and Underworld. Some of the greats still raving strong today.
For me, it all ended when the world’s best Club ‘The End’ closed in London. I was there on its last night as we put it, and our clubbing days, to bed forever.
Now I’m a grown up…
Now I’m a proper grown up, completed by the arrival of my son, I feel I have a duty to pass down the great legacy of music bestowed upon me. He too will grow up tapping to Tupac, dancing to Donna Summer and waving his hands in the air to Disclosure. I hope.
But who knew clubbing could prepare you for parenthood!? Well it does, and here’s how.
1. Seasoned clubbers will know that you don’t rock up to a club until midnight. Earliest. And no matter how tired you are, you will plough through till 4am. It’s that kind of stamina my friend that will serve you well when you have a newborn baby waking you every 2 hours. I say, drop some Laurent Garnier and turn the lights on and off for a few minutes – it’s somehow easier to cope when you feel you’re clubbing.
2. How much? I’ll never get over having to pay £10 for the world’s smallest bottle of water in Pacha. Yet, it pails in to insignificance when you consider I just paid £100 for my baby’s first Birthday cake! I suppose I’ve saved myself a fortune in ubers over the past few years now I have no reason to club! This is what I tell myself!
3.Ouch! Women in stilettos, drunks falling over the place – the bruises, cuts and clubbing wounds from my party days can be directly compared to how beaten my body is from dealing with a baby! I’m not gonna lie, it’s tougher when you don’t have the promise of a kebab at the end of the night
4. I hate nursery rhymes with a passion. But, the slow repetitive rhythms of Ewan the dream sheep and the trance-like hypnotic sounds of Danny Tenaglia. Come on, you’ve got to see it
Love the 80s, live the 80s…
5. If you grew up in the 80s, you’ll fully appreciate glow sticks! You’ll also fully appreciate how much they prepared you for walking around in the dark guided by the light of a ridiculous tool. These days, I can mostly be found stumbling around in the dark corridors or my house at 4am like a zombie with iPhone in one hand for light!
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You know, you really ought to check out this post about girls who like boys names, here>>